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Online Dating Scams

Writer: Rob BasichisRob Basichis

Updated: Jun 18, 2021



The pain of love can often be exacerbated by romance scams. Expectations violated, hearts, torn apart, bank accounts emptied. These scams are all about getting to your money. It’s a big-time occupation for some. These romantic scams have cost innocent people losses of $300 Million in the year 2020. The increase has been on the rise. The pandemic has helped to make it grow. You can no longer go out to clubs or parties to meet people. For over a year we’ve been unable to just visit someone’s home without worrying about being around more than four or five people. The fear of becoming infected by Covid was just too much of a risk. So, this inability for all of us to meet face to face has set the worst of the fraudsters on the loose.

Pandemic or no pandemic, people using online dating sites continues to climb. The scammers are out there, patiently watching and waiting for you to make the next move; carefully picking their spot for the next soft target. If you have no choice but to go to these sites for hookups, be careful about what type of information you put out there. Make sure that you are using a safe a reputable site. A picture says a thousand words in a thousand ways. So, take time to scrutinize those pictures of someone you think may be the perfect mate.

These scammers are smart, they know the game. They send you phony pictures, fabrications of their lives. Plush-looking high-rises with panoramic views, boats, beach houses; anything to do with the high life. If it looks too good to be true then it's probably a lie.

As you are making considerations, these scammers are thinking up ways to land you in a trap. You unknowingly contact one of them, and conversations begin to go back and forth online. Eventually, they will ask to meet in person. This is normal for any website romance evolution. But in the mind of the prankster, there’s a whole other agenda involved that just doesn’t include real love.

Once you begin to meet up with them in person, sooner than later, they’re going to start hitting you up for money. It might be something simple, like an inexpensive phone card so they can keep in contact. They make up stories and excuses, like how they lost their wallet and credit cards. Their bank account has been frozen for protection until the problem gets ironed out. The stories become more crafted and convoluted as time goes on. If it were me, and I found out someone who wanted to date me couldn’t afford something as cheap as a phone card I would back away. But a lot of people, who are lonely and forever hopeful will not. They’ll fall right into the fraudsters trap, thinking they are helping them, doing a favor for someone who is going through hard times. They feel it’s a good place for love to begin.

There are endless stories. Stories concocted to create a sense of urgency to get people to send money over and over again. It is a sick and vicious ploy, playing on someone’s hopes and desires. It must take a psychopath to conjure up these kinds of devious schemes. One of their moves is to send money to you, convincing you of their trust. It’s usually stolen money, money that has to be laundered. When they ask for it back, they tell a story of how the money has to be sent in a different form, usually a money order or through a debit or gift card. So, without your knowledge, you act in good faith and do what they ask. Effectively you are washing their dirty money for them. It is always stolen money, and it can come from any source. Many times, it’s solen unemployment or social security benefits. So, in a case like this, while you think you are doing someone a favor you are actually complicit in their scheme by using your bank to wash the money, then converting it into another form such as mentioned, like a gift or debit card.

Do whatever you can to avoid being scammed. When your start hearing calls to action like sending gift cards and wire transfers stop right then and there and look at the red flags in front of you. Love will come to you sooner or later, but if you allow yourself to fall victim to these types of scams, good luck getting your money back.

In 2020, reports of gift cards being used to send money to romance scammers increased by nearly 70%. Gift cards, along with wire transfers, are the most frequently reported payment methods for romance scams. People said they mailed the gift cards or gave the card’s PIN number to the scammer. The median amount of people sent romance scammers in 2020 using any method of payment was $2,500, more than ten times the median loss across all other fraud types.

Make sure to play it safe while looking for love online? For most, the effort of online dating is hard and uncomfortable enough, without adding fraud to the mix. These are things to look for in order to sidestep these types of traps. Here are some tips to help you steer clear of scammers:

  • Never send money or gifts to someone you haven’t met in person – even if they send you money first.

  • Talk to someone you trust about this new love interest. It can be easy to miss things that don’t add up. So, pay attention if your friends or family are concerned.

  • Try a reverse-image search of the profile pictures. If they’re associated with another name or with details that don’t match up, it’s a scam.

  • When the subject of an exchange of money comes up in conversation ask direct questions to find out why this person needs it. Of course, they will try and tell you a convincing story, but keep pushing with hard questions, and eventually, they will probably just go away and look for a softer target.

Above all, be careful out there. If you have any questions, please contact us.

 
 
 

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